Confessions of a Broken Heart.

You don't understand how perceptive I am. One would think you would know by now. It's 4:33 AM, November 12th 2009. I am tired and beaten. I am barely conscious...but conscious enough to see things that I wish I hadn't. Seems like the last 3 months has been full of that. It's time to let go I suppose. I've clearly been a pawn in your chess game. Thank you for making me believe that it was special. Specialty lasts...and I have indefinitely and irrevocably faded into memories. I see some things haven't faded. I am not going to write a long blog about this because it simply isn't worth my precious time. Already too much of my precious time...has been preciously wasted. All my other blogs could be deleted, it's all babbling bullshit. They don't matter now, all the optimism and justification and understanding. I have exerted myself beyond humiliation. My heart is bursting at the seams. You have finally given me a reason to finish a song I wrote a long time ago. An empty silence fills this room, with every unspoken word. With noise of a silent end, my thoughts begin to blur. And our imperfections have been for so long that we hardly notice there is anything wrong at all. An empty silence fills this room, with all the things I've heard. Why do we just pretend that no pain has been endured? And our misdirections have gone for too long, it's time to take the old roads back to where we belong. You've chipped off little pieces of my heart for a while, and this time, it finally crumbled. Considering you have half of it now...please put it in a bottle and send it to the bottom of the ocean. I'd rather have nothing then wake up somewhere that I don't want to be. Love is empty, love is cruel, love it blindly breaks the rules. Rules aren't all that's broken tonight. It's a disaster baby. Someday, somehow, I'm gonna be alright but not right now. I imagine you could probably care less anyway. At least, that's what every action has shown me. Take this sinking boat, and point it home, we've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now. For the first time...home is not where you are, or ever will be. Goodbye.