Free Fallin'

Rory & I are hungry.
We decide to go on a quest for cheap food (considering he's broke so I'm paying)
We decide we want BBQ because everyone is BBQing (because it's memorial day)
So...we go to this little place called Rosy's BBQ. But it's expen$ive. So we leave.

This is where the story starts...


We walk through the parking lot back to our cars and decide that we want to try
Marie Callendars. I had no idea that it was a restaurant, I thought they just sold pies! So...we go there and sit down, and then decide it's a little out of the price range because we're poor bastards. So we leave. On the way out...there is a girl with cleaning spray by the door and a middle aged woman exiting. The woman turns to the employee girl and says,

"By the way...you're bathrooms are very dirty",
to which the girl replies, "Oh okay sorry about that, I'll be sure and clean it".

I give the employee girl a sympathetic smile for the woman's rudeness, and start to walk out with Rory. She looks at me again and exclaims,

"I'm mad at you!"

...?...

I glance around as she returns inside of the building. I'm slightly puzzled?
I ask Rory if she was talking to me, and he is just as puzzled as I am.
I walk back into the restaurant and ask her, "You're mad at ME?"
She tells me that she's mad at me because I didn't go to prom with her friend Holly, but then after I said no, I showed up playing in the band. (Jewel & Blaire - See last post)

I thought this was ironic and I politely explained that I called Holly 3 times, and she simply told me that she didn't want to go. Ironically after that, I got asked to play as a temporary sub for J&B because their bass player peaced out without a word. It was a pretty crazy situation :)

The employee girl starts to walk away. Slightly offended, I ask, "Do you have to go?"
She says yes, and I say, "Okay, bye."

I walk out with Rory and explain my irritation for ignorant, dramatic, dumbhoes, as such. We climb into his mighty van of sex, and continue our quest for grubbage. Johnny calls us and says he is at the mall, which is right next to us. We meet him there and catch up with some old friends. Weird thing was, for some reason...I saw LOTS of old friends in that next 20 min. It was crazy.

Rory & I continue to find food, and we end up just going to Wendy's. We eat a mighty meal and talk about life. Johnny meets up with us and we hang out for a while until Rory has to leave. Johnny and I then go on a series of adventures searching for Arby's, breaking into Albertsons in search of a BofA, Johnny talking to his girlfriend and spelling her name wrong, and giving $10 to a (hopefully) needy stranger. We had a great time.

Johnny takes me back to my car, and it is now 12:45 PM.
All the shops around are closed (Reseda &Devonshire)
And all the lights are off, but for some reason, music is still playing.
John uses this as an opportunity to dance around the square plaza.
I follow, and we eventually come to a circular fountain.
We jump on it and Johnny says, "Dude...lets jump to the middle."
My stupid self says, "Okay!"

Johnny jumps from the outer perimeter of this fountain to the inner circle.
The inner circle is higher up and surrounded by water, which flows downward when the fountain is turned on. He makes it and encourages me to jump.

I survey the distance...and jump.
I survey was a failure.

I smash my shin on the side of the fountain wall, and land hard, halfway on my other leg and stomach. I am soaked, disoriented, and in pain. In my mind...I FULLY believed I had made the jump...until I felt freezing cold water hit me. Johnny stares at me and says something like, "DUDE!!!!!"
It was memorable.
I jump back eventually...and drive home with the heat on.

I have a massive bruise on my left thigh and a huge bump on my right shin.
Walking was challenging today, but it's healing rather quickly.

Just thought I'd share that :)

Jewel & Blaire

So...it's Thursday, May 21st. It's Kelly's 22nd birthday, so me and Kel are at Jamba Juice chilling and talking about some stuff. The night grows late, and she goes home. Well, right across the street from Jamba is Claim Jumper where my bff Rory is working, and another old friend of mine Savannah is working. I decide to say hello to them, so I drive over and walk inside.

Before we continue...lets fill in a little back story:
Rory O'Donoghue is my bro4lyf and basically he is dating a girl named Jewel Restaneo. You may have heard of her? Broadway actress & theatrical performer since she was born. She also has done billions of commercials, film work, television, and anything else you can imagine. This girls resume is a mile long. She is currently 17 years old and in a band with her younger sister (also w/ a mile long resume). The band is called Jewel & Blaire. They have been playing local SFV shows for a while now.

...after I walk inside I see Rory and we exchange a smirk. He comes from out of the counter and we begin to chat a little. Until I see Savannah and she greets me with a huge hug followed by in introduction to her boyfriend. We all hung out for a while until Rory got off and left. We walked outside and towards my car when Rory gets an unexpected phonecall from Jewel. Turns out, Jordan Solis, the bassist for Jewel & Blaire "quit" a little earlier, and they had a show in the next hour. Now, I say to myself...what show could you possibly have at midnight? Then I remember that they are playing at Alamany High's Post Prom. I tell Rory to tell Jewel that if she needed a sub, I would be more then happy and I have been doing this for years now so I'm used to improv. Rory hands the phone to me and Jewel says, "how fast can you be at my house?" 25 min later, I pull up to the Restaneo resedence and unload my gear. Jewel, Blaire, McClain (drummer) and I just chat for a bit because Chris & Corey (lead guitar & keys) are a little late. The time reads 11:32, and we go on at 12:00. They pull up and we pack the cars as fast as we can.

Another side story:

MY band, Johnny Strat & Project Wavelength consistes of a 5 people.
John (lead vox & guitar), who is my other bff. Colin (raps & BG vox), who is my other bff, Josh Nelson AKA Chuckles (bass), another bff, and Daniel Williams (drums), who is not a friend of mine at all. Daniel is a hired drummer for the most part, and we just deal with his shit because he's really talented. Then there is me, rhythm guitar and BG vox. For the most part, the group is Johnny, Colin, and I. We are like the holy trinity of musical sex.

SO...on my way to Jewels house, I ask a couple Alamany friends if they were going to post prom. They all said yes, and one of the told me that Colin said "I love you". In a wave of disbelief and excitment, I call Colin and yell into the phone, "YOU'RE GOING TO ALAMANY'S POST PROM!?". He replies, "Yes!" This was a glorious moment, because just 5 min prior, Johnny called me and said, "Hey I know this never happens, but I'm all dressed up and I'm right by your house, do you wanna hang out?" I call him and say, "YOU'RE COMING TO PROM WITH ME AND COLIN AND JEWEL AND BLAIRE!"
It was amazing.

So Johnny pulls up in front of Jewels house, followed by Corey and Chris. Jewels mom, Cris, runs up to me and tells me that I have to sign a contract that states I am playing with JB & that I will not curse on stage. We all load the cars as fast as we can and take off. Since no one knows how to get there, they are following me. Johnny is my passenger with McClain in the backseat. We get to Balboa and I am watching my rear view for the girls, because they drive slow. I didn't see the enormus orange figure in front of me. It came so quickly. BAM. A RANDOM cone is lodged under my car. I hit my emergency lights on and swerve over. The girls follow me. All in an instant, I jump out with John and I totally lift my front end as Johnny reaches under and pulls the cone out with his bare hands! We exchange glances of awkwardness for the cone, throw it in the backseat w/ McClain, and continue to Alamany. We pull in the back gate at 12:00. Thankfully the busses aren't there yet. We park, check in, and set up as soon as everyone arrives. Now...I think to myself, "Oh yeah...you don't know any of these songs." So I ask Corey for the basic key or a relative major / minor of each song. With that, we play the show a little rusty from lack of rehearsal and lack of an original bass player...but it worked :) Johnny, Colin, and I, along with the band, all stayed at Alamany and hung out for a while. We ate free food and talked to old friends. Later in the night, Johnny, Colin, and I went to my car and got my acoustic and started writing. Eventually we were joined by Jewel, Blaire, and the boys, and had a great time. Once the clock struck 4:00 AM...I realized that I had an English final in 4 hours. On that note, we all hugged, exchanged numbers, and went our seperate ways.

Yesterday, there was still no word from Jordan. So I played another show with them (after a rehearsal of couse). This show was the opening for the new Terminator ride at Magic Mountain! We had two 30 min. sets. Afterward, we had left over time so Johnny, Colin, and I played a song as well. (They we're there). After the show, we decided to ride the Terminator ride...until it derailed...
Then we left and went to Denny's.

We had an amazing time at Denny's and then went our seperate ways.

I love my new friends!

Good Love Is On The Way.

"You could be my unintended choice to live my life extended
You could be the one
Ill always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one
Ill always love

Ill be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was
the one who challenged
All my dreams and
all my balance
She could never be
as good as you

You could be my unintended choice to live my life extended
You should be the one
Ill always love

Ill be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you"


Unintended by Muse

That is such a powerful song. I was driving and thinking today just about love and how exhausting it is. It's almost not even worth it...but it really is. I think it's so interesting the psychology of people in a spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional way. No matter how much you raise the stakes of something...if you raise the reward to a nearly equal limit, people will put there hearts and lives on the line to get it. Don't we do the same thing with love? Sometimes we go all out just to lose it all and start over...but sometimes we hardly put in anything and end up winning the jackpot, though sometimes unintended or unwanted or inconvenient. People move on and on expecting the next person to be better then the last, and expecting the next to fix everything that the last fucked up. Or maybe even people expect that they won't fuck up the next like how they did the last. Maybe both fucked up? What happens in that situation? Do the two stick together or do they both move on? Is there even a real answer to that question? How does someone who blames themselves overcome and try again? How does one forgive another for fucking everything up? How do two forgive each other and move on without recollection of the past? How does anyone every truly become happy carrying all of this?


Many say that love never fails, but I've seen it fail.
Perfect love never fails.
But love on this earth is not perfect, because we are not perfect.
People will say,

"You live you learn, you crash and burn"

But I promise you...
One can go through millions of relationships but one will never finally become perfect.
Truth is, practice doesn't make perfect
PERFECT practice makes perfect. And trust me...
Perfect practice, is perfectly impossible. That goes for anything.

I'm not saying you can't understand and grow, but I am saying that there will ALWAYS be bumps in the road and it will just get harder and harder. Even when you believe that you have hit rock bottom...then suddenly the gates of hell will open and the very ground will crumble and swallow you into it. You will always get out of it...but people always find ways to get themselves back in it, because love is worth it.

It's because those 10 seconds of REAL love and cherish, are worth every second of the 10 days, weeks, months, or years of pain. Anyone who has experiences real love...you know what I am talking about.


Elton John said...

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word"


And he is so right, but you'd be surprised how easy it is when the very thing you love is on the line. Sometimes the hardest feeling is the reason that they are sorry. Sometimes the hardest thing is the reason that you're sorry. Sometimes the hardest thing is the feeling that hits you both afterward.


Rascal Flatts said...

"What hurts the most was being so close,
and having so much to say, and watching you walk away"


He couldn't of said it any better.
No one could have.
But sometimes...what hurts the most is being so close
and being the one to walk away, regardless of what you have to say.


Britney Spears said...

"Every time I try to fly I fall,
Without my wings I feel so small.
I guess I need you baby.
And every time I see you in my dreams,
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby."


Ryan Cabrera said...

"You can take it all away, I don't need it,
Underneath, I'll still be the same.
You can take it all away, I don't need it, It's not me.
You can take it all away"


Dan Franklin said...

"So I'll fly, not a tear in my eye,
As I look down on it all, my troubles seem so small.
I'll Fly away"


At this point I'm just quoting because I'm pretty much done with this blog.
I don't even really know where I went or where I was trying to go with it.
I'm just kind of writing...

But to finish it off...



Dan Franklin also said...

"I can't tell where I start and you begin"



And Bryce Avary screamed...

"Because I love you and you love me,
And nothing will make this leave,
So remember me."



Which completely summarizes everything, and how completely worth it heartbreak is. Once you find one person you can reach THIS level with...then you know that you have experienced real love...and in the end...that will never go in vain.

Goodnight.


Sincerely...with love,
-Nick

Spur Of The Moment

Today was a really great day. Wednesday, it was our "Senior Trip" to Santa Barbara. I wasn't allowed to go (what a surprise!). So basically, they told me,

"Nick, do NOT show up at the train station tomorrow". So...

I didn't show up at the train station :)
I woke up at 10:30, showered, got in my car, filled her up, and drove 85 miles to Santa Barbara City Line. On the way, I avoided 2 accidents and 2 tickets going 90mph, picked up my boy Johnny, and raided the streets of SB where my entire senior class was lurking. We got many cheers and shouts of joyful defiance and somehow, not ONE of the administrators saw me :) (that I know of). Honestly, I don't think they would do much if they did. It was a very laid back day and no one really cared about anything. But this is only part of the reason why today was so good.

The drive there & back from Santa Barbara is probably one of the most beautiful drives I've ever taken. Following the coast and the hills through Carpenteria...it was incredible. You really should try it if you haven't. I really had a great opportunity just to admire the Lords creation and take in summer & senioritis all over again.

On top of that...
I get home and look in my mailbox to find a $125 check.
You guys have no idea how this made me feel.
Picture a heavenly golden genie descending from the sky,
and saying to you,

"Hey you're the coolest person on Earth!
We took a vote in heaven.
Can't wait to see you there in a very LONG time!
P.S. You never have to pay taxes again!".

That's pretty much how it felt.
Haha well, a little different, but still amazing.

In other news...I sent out all my graduation announcements and
I got a few from some old friends too. One of my good old friends Kevin sent me one and he looked SO different. I wouldn't even of recognized him...in fact...he looked Mexican. He's German, but he totally looked Mexican. It was insane.

Also today...probably one of the more crazier things. I'm driving with John in my passenger seat. Out of NOWHERE...a HUGE golden retriever is RUNNING into the middle of the road...RIGHT in front of my car. To the left...is oncoming traffic. To the right...is an older man with his wife on a tiny yellow motorcycle. Straight ahead...is this huge golden puppy. I JAM on my breaks and maneuver just in time to go around the dog without hitting the couple on the motorcycle. I literally had inches between both. It was so intense...I can't even describe. Afterward, John applauded me for a good 60 seconds and the man on the bike threw me a big thumbs up. Though not the first time I've been put into a life threatening situation behind the wheel, it was still an epic experience :) Someone needs to keep a hold on their doggy though.

To top everything off...on my way back from Santa Barbara...
I passed 2 ACCO trucks, 1 huge SEES CANDY truck, and 1 beautiful red Firebird what was probably the most beautiful car I have ever seen in my entire life...
No jokes.

That was my day :)
Pretty crazy
Now...to go type essays!

Sincerely,
-Nick

Ultimate Swaggaaaa!

"We're going down,
& you can see it too.
We're going down,
& you know that we're doomed.
My dear, we're,
slow dancing in a burning room
Don't you think,
we oughta know by now?
Don't you think,
we shoulda learned somehow?"

"There ain't nothing strong enough,
to keep me away from you.
There can be a wall of fire
ten feet or higher,
I would just walk on for you.
Where there once was only room for one,
Wherever there will be two.
That's why I drive alone all this way for you,
To you, For you"

"All the streets, glowin,
Happen to be just like moments, passin,
In front of me so I hopped in, the cab and,
I paid my fare see I know my destination,
But I'm just not there...
In the streets"

"And it takes no time to fall in love.
But it takes you years to know what love is.
It takes some fears to make you trust.
It takes those tears to make it rust.
It takes the dust to have it polished"

Definitely 4 of the current,
MOST significant musical influences for me.
Completely amazing.
Who don't these 4 all have one huge show?
They all know each other! If they had a show together,
I'd go in a second.
We could throw in Brad Paisley
and a couple other people too, just for kicks.
That would be like the ultimate party of sexxxxx!!!!!
Excluding my Kelly of course, because she's the hottest :)

Anyways, really though. These 4 individuals are truly musically and lyrically brilliant. Some in different areas then others, but all together the end result is like heavenly awesomeness. Ughhhhhh I love it. <3>

John Mayer
David Ryan Harris
Kanye West
Jason Mraz

Something To Think About :)

I think it's funny how just a simple song can make your entire attitude change. I think it's fascinating how you can hear a series of composed notes together and they will trigger a particular memory from your past, from then which will force your brain to release particular chemicals throughout your entire body, forcing you to feel a certain way...reacting to the stimuli in your brain caused by the song playing. Your neuro-transmitters send signals to your auditory cortex which is instantly transferred to your pre-frontal cortex, thus recalling your emotion. How complicated is that?
Yet we process hundreds of trillions of different neuro- sensory impulses a second...all flowing through our nerve endings. A single human being proves the simplicity of trillions of neurons flowing from our dendrites in the depths of our cells, all the way through the our axons and to our terminal branches and directly to our brains, ALL in the matter of milliseconds. Our neurotransmitters and receptors NEVER stop firing. Though all of this is scientifically proven, people still have the audacity to question their self worth? Or could the question of self worth just be another strange, questionable chemical reaction within the brain? Could EVERYTHING be scientific? Humoring the idea that this is truth...could we conclude that the brain questions itself and it's own power?
Think about that one for a while...but while your thinking, remember that no matter what way you feel about it...it's just another chemical reaction happening in your head :)

Just kidding guys. Although this is true, feelings were designed to genuinely express our individual feelings. Every individual, brain, and heart is different. That, in fact, is the most beautiful and unimaginable part about it. Through all of this complexity, though the same system, each unit is different in their own way and each chemical reaction is interpreted and channeled differently. The challenge of life is mainly if YOUR chemical reactions are accepting and willing enough to accept the chemical reactions of others.

I want to talk about a little something called MAO.
This is an acronym for Mono-Amine Oxydase.
This one little enzyme in your brain can make or break your personality.
Lots of MAO...you are suddenly a crazy, spontaneous, carefree risk taker.
Little of MAO...you are a calm, occasionally boring home body.
Pretty incredible huh?
Anyone ever seen the movie Crank?
Well in the movie, he was poisoned with a synthetic that slows his heart rate completely.
Basically like a super-ultimate benadryl.
He takes Epinephrine, which essentially is MAO.
That really intrigued me for a while...until I learned about this...

Two different chemicals. One for males and one for females.
Females: Oxitocin
Males: Dopamine

Listen up men!
OXITOCIN IS YOUR BFF
Oxitocin produced in females is a chemical that assimilates BONDING and creates a feeling of desire. Starting from a simple touch to the ultimate power, intercourse.
When a woman is touched and it is desired, the oxitocin released will create feelings of bonding for you, and she will desire to be with you more and more, as long as it continues. This can also increase the sex drive of a female. This explains why women who don't desire sex, don't desire it because they don't get it, and women who do desire sex, desire it because they DO get it. This also explains why a beautiful girl who you see as an angel, will be with a douche bag guy and keep going back to him again and again and again and again.

Dopamine...is quite another story.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that has an outcome that involves endorphins and feelings that associate to other memories and feelings. For instance, when a man has sex for the first time, the dopamine will enable his memories to recall on that exact moment, and recall his feelings and desire them. Very much a male version of oxitocin. However, things involving dopamine can go very wrong.
Picture this: YOU are on your way to have sex for the first time. Your girlfriends parents aren't home. However, there is a risk factor that her father MIGHT come home, catch you both, and kill you with his 12 gauge he keeps in his pants at all times. This risk factor produces MAO in your brain, which increases your adrenaline ABOVE it's original height limit. You successfully have amazing sex without getting caught and you leave.

The dopamine produced in your brain may not only recall the sex and pleasure, but the adrenaline and high amounts of nervousness and MAO as well. Thus, your recall of your first time is ALWAYS going to be associated with the feeling of adrenaline and anxiousness, even though you guys never got caught in the act. This can potentially cause a young man to be unable of having a truly satisfying sexual experience without experiencing the adrenaline and MAO increase.

In reality, the dopamine is the reason for your feelings when you hear that certain song or composed set of notes somewhere, and it reminds you of that one special time. So next time music triggers your memory, just blame it on the dope!

These are some interesting thoughts for your brain to chemically react to :)
I would continue writing, but I am fading fast and require sleep.
I guess I'll save more for another day! I hope you all have gained something from this!

Sincerely,
-Nick

Intro

This is my first entry. Originally, I was going to get another type of blog spot because my best friend Kelly wanted me to, however that one hated me. So, I got this one. I think I kinda like this one better anyway :)

I mainly made this to get back into writing/journalism and back into expressing my thoughts for whoever that cares to read :) I'm doing this for me, but I always love having readers! It reminds me of a book I recently read called "The Last Juror" by John Grisham. It's quite a story, but one of the sub stories is how the main character bought a small, rundown town newspaper that went bankrupt and over time turned it into a million dollar profitable community icon. So, feel free to read :) And feel free to comment, but be nice or I'll kill you.

Anyways, this is my first entry...now I'm going to sexy-up my profile.

Sincerely,
-Nick