"I can't wait to find out what is wrong with me,
So I can say that this is the way that I used to be"
So I can say that this is the way that I used to be"
I heard this line today and it hit me so hard. I've heard it so many times, but seemed to have overlooked it until now. It's ironic that this single line seems to sum up every other day for me. My life lately has been a roller-coaster of one thing after another. It's hard t keep up sometimes...and it's hard to see things for what they actually are. Apparently, two wrongs make it all alright tonight. But I am starting to see through these things. I am starting to notice why we are all so damn confused. What's wrong to one may be right to another, and vice versa. Who are we to distinguish right and wrong? Who are we to live with sin if we can't even control the limits? I guess it's the chess game of life. I guess...we didn't create the rules for a reason. I feel like I am on the Niagara Falls of change right now. Like, I am at the very tip of the fall. I haven't fallen yet...but I am just looking over the edge. All I see in this moment is just fog and mist, I have not the slightest clue what lies below me...what my upcoming reality involves. I just pray that the rocks at the bottem aren't too sharp, and they don't tear me to bits. All I know, is that it's going to be gloriously different. Life has been at the same interesting pace for the last couple years, and I feel like the turn has finally come. April is going to be different. I feel like I am progressing, on a personal level...as a person. I feel like internal changes are going to create external changes. I can only hope for the best, I suppose. Thank God for new friends...I have met a couple. I am only hoping that a few of these new friendships actually last, because they are a special few. You know that feeling when you meet someone and you just think to yourself, "damn...I can't let this one get away...". Yeah, that.
I have been thinking a lot lately about her. That special girl. Whoever she may be...where ever she may be...she's out there. I know she is. And I know that she is thinking of me. I know that she looks to the stars like I do, and wonders the same thoughts. So I whisper to the sky...I'm here baby, don't worry. I've always been here, and always will be. Every mistake I make until I find you, was ONLY a detour that is leading me step by step closer to you. Every tear I cry now is only going to amount to a smile from you. I see my present tears as future cheers. I am already so in love with her. In a weird way, I feel like I can feel her. I feel like I can tell when she is sad, or when she is happy. I feel like I need to scream at the stars just to remind her...that I'm still out here...and I'm still searching. I check the weather all over the world, because I am curious if she can see the stars tonight. Just like the song, "Every single shooting star, makes me wonder where you are, and freezing in this midnight air, makes me wish that I was there" - Myself. It's the truest statement. But I feel that song "Astronomy & You" just doesn't do a justice. Nothing will do a justice. I am going to run into her someday...in some amazing way...and it may be a way that I least expect. Who knows? I may already know her. But whatever the situation may be...I pray that she knows that I am searching for her. My princess, I am coming. We share this sadness...Split Screen Sadness. But it won't be too long. Stay Strong. I will find you...if I have to search the world. I'll sleep in my coat forever. These words are your words. They are our words. They are your living memory until you arrive.
I have been thinking a lot lately about her. That special girl. Whoever she may be...where ever she may be...she's out there. I know she is. And I know that she is thinking of me. I know that she looks to the stars like I do, and wonders the same thoughts. So I whisper to the sky...I'm here baby, don't worry. I've always been here, and always will be. Every mistake I make until I find you, was ONLY a detour that is leading me step by step closer to you. Every tear I cry now is only going to amount to a smile from you. I see my present tears as future cheers. I am already so in love with her. In a weird way, I feel like I can feel her. I feel like I can tell when she is sad, or when she is happy. I feel like I need to scream at the stars just to remind her...that I'm still out here...and I'm still searching. I check the weather all over the world, because I am curious if she can see the stars tonight. Just like the song, "Every single shooting star, makes me wonder where you are, and freezing in this midnight air, makes me wish that I was there" - Myself. It's the truest statement. But I feel that song "Astronomy & You" just doesn't do a justice. Nothing will do a justice. I am going to run into her someday...in some amazing way...and it may be a way that I least expect. Who knows? I may already know her. But whatever the situation may be...I pray that she knows that I am searching for her. My princess, I am coming. We share this sadness...Split Screen Sadness. But it won't be too long. Stay Strong. I will find you...if I have to search the world. I'll sleep in my coat forever. These words are your words. They are our words. They are your living memory until you arrive.
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