Little Things.

In a quick turn of events, leaving with an incredible story...I will not be moving to Santa Barbara at this time. I want to tell the story, but certain parts of it I am not allowed to disclose at this time. Watch for my upcoming book, "The Adventures of Nicholas Ryan" that include all of my undisclosed and illegal stories :)

That's not what I am writing about today though. Today, I have been thinking and realizing some little things, that are often overlooked by all of us. Life is so short, precious, and beautiful. We take it for granted so much. I am not one to talk, because I may be the most guilty of this crime. I spend too much time looking ahead at the future and making corrections...instead of slowing down and enjoying the moment. It seems the only thing that allows me to slow down and enjoy is Love...but love doesn't always act as a large vicodin or oxycodone. Sometimes love can be Chinese torture. I think, instead of seeking out love in life, we need to seek out life in love, and love OF life. Wouldn't we be so much happier? If only it was that easy.

In my midst of not moving, I have been thinking about the place that I have lived for 17 years (and will continue for a while). This Valley...it's beautiful but it is so dumpy. It is HOME, but still overgrown and overthrown. But in the middle of my focus on the the negatives, I've been seeing some beautiful positives. What does it even matter? Life is going to run its course. I have been focusing on the little things, what everyone overlooks.



The other day, I saw a truck where its rear lights were reversed. It was wired in such a way that when the brakes were applied, the white turn signal / reverse lights would light up, and when he reversed or put on a turn signal, the red brake lights would illuminate and flash. It made me smile.

It's funny how dancing in the middle of the street at 2:00AM in the morning or playing under the covers, with someone special, can make your heart feel like you are flying.

There is something about blasting music down the Interstate 5 at 3:30AM, and you're all alone on the entire freeway, going so fast. It's almost as if things are slightly put into perspective at night time.

The other day I saw a limousine pull out of a church, followed by a Hearst, followed by about 2 dozen cars, mostly Mercedes, Audi, Lincoln, Buick, and BMW's. I wondered who the person was who had passed. Someones child, sibling, parent, best friend, mentor, roll model. Who's lives had they affected and what kind of accomplishments did they achieve? Though seemingly morbid, I wondered about my funeral. Who will be there? How will I have affected their lives, whenever that time comes to pass? It is such a concept to consider.

I've been thinking more about how, though sometimes I may deny it, I am completely addicted to chaos. Sometimes, I become so stressed, but I know that if my life were to ever significantly slow down, I don't have any idea what I would do with myself. I thrive off of the adrenaline.

The other day, I found two black cats on my street, violently fighting. Purring, snapping, scratching, and biting each other like nothing I've ever seen or heard. I just sat and watched until they stopped...and for about 5 complete minutes, they just stared at one another, directly in the eyes. Nothing broke their concentration, until a car drove by and spooked them off.

I've had multiple conversations with friends about my wedding day. I have been thinking about it a lot. The most important day of your life...(to some extent). What will it consist of? Who will be the lucky girl, who will eternally be my princess? What will it be like? I enjoy running scenarios through my mind about it. It will be a day that will live forever.

The beauty of a single acoustic guitar and a microphone, in a dimly lit, empty room. It is a feeling that completely exhilarates some people...I am one of those people.


Just so much to think about. There are appropriate times to slow down and just observe. Listen...and not speak. Sometimes the littlest things, can be monumental.

There are only two ways to live your life...
One as if nothing is a miracle,
And the other as if everything is.

- Albert Einstein