Planet Earth Turns Slowly...

Lights go down in my room,
A Friday night alone and I'm thinking of you.
You're pictures on my bed,
It's right beside your perfume...
I keep your scent around.
Too many games I've played,
I lust you but the feeling stays the same.
My heart, it bursts when I just speak your name.
I can still taste your breath on my breath.
Wish you could understand me,
Wish you could get inside me,
Oh no I can't seem to breathe without your love.
Oh your heart, your soul, your body...
Until you are right beside me.

I'd like to make myself believe...
That planet Earth turns slowly.
It's hard to say I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,
Because everything is never as it seems.

One love burning & yearning inside of me,
When push comes to shove,
I'm waiting anticipating anxiously.
Well our pleasures can't be measured,
When your body's pressed up against mine.
Let’s put a hold on time so we can unwind
Just romance through the night.

Relocation. Still hasn't quite set in...and still a bit misty. So spur of the moment and spontaneous, though congruent to my personality...such a large decision. While the first and initial thought process, through excitement, was all of the new things, adventures, and opportunities that lay ahead of me...I did not expect the aftershocks to rumble this hard. I will MISS so much. I will miss my home and my parents. The last two weeks has given me new respect for so much, and new insight for life. I have been noticing things in front of me my entire life, for the first time...or at least correctly analyzing them for the first time. My head is spinning. I still can't wrap my head around what is actually happening, but I know that reality will set in past surreality, and I will finally feel the blow to my stomach. I am not frightened, rather ecstatic...but this is the first time that I have endeavored on an adventure such as this. Another six months of stories to add to my repertoire, along with new memories, music, friends, experiences and lessons. Maybe more than parents and home, I will miss the good friends whom I cherish. Though sometimes dumb-ass's, I'll miss them all the same. So many of my closest have already moved and relocated on to bigger things...and it is taking a toll on my heart. It's now time for me to suffer my own toll. You specifics I am talking to...you know who you are. The special ones. The ones who have proved to SUSTAIN. The ones who haven't lied or changed, the ones who are truthfully, selflessly, and courageously still pushing forward, with me, into this ever-changing life. We few possess the power of truth. The powers of love and forgiveness. The powers of courage and longevity. The overall power of friendship. What you have learned from me, and what I have learned from you will never be enough words or experiences to ever amount to the level of respect and sincere love that I have withheld, now and forevermore, in my heart for you. Whether it is sometimes visible or not, it is imprisoned in my soul, and written into my being. You are my binary, you are my deoxyribonucleic formula for confidence. My friends, entourage, family...never underestimate yourselves. Never give cridit to the ones who discredit...and never give power to the ones who suppress yours, for your power is true and engulfed in your own flame. NEVER let it burn out. There is so much that I will miss. I will miss all the special places, and all the special memories. Every story that I have ever told, and all that it accompanies. I will miss the chaos...which a close friend of mine helped me to truly see and acknowledge is truth. Without it, life is not worth living. Life is meant to be exciting, with purpose. Cherish the chaos. Cherish the stillness. Let the two burn your own flame, for it is your fuel. I will miss the specialness, and special times. I will miss the taste of love, and the touch of companionship. I will miss the glory of it all...

Always and forever.

But this is only the beginning of a new chapter. A new pair of shoes. This is unpaved territory, and it is all mine to discover. Don't forget me...I'll still be around. But do not rebuke me when you see change in me...I promise, it will only be for the better. Thank those of you who have made me this way, with beauty, wisdom, and love...and even if the way you chose to do it was disgusting, I am shaken up but still grateful. I am ready for the move. I am taking this jump. I will be back from time to time and only for a while...so don't let your mind wander too far away from me...because I know mine will not wander far from you. I already miss you. You know who you are...

Santa Barbara, here I come.