Sunday, January 3, 2010
She's Just Not That Into You.
Alex: Hey, Kelli Ann. Uh, did I get any calls?
Kelli Ann: Since you asked me 11 minutes ago, no, not a lot of phone traffic.
Alex: [obsessively checks phone for signal]
Kelli Ann: Oh, my God.
Alex: What?
Kelli Ann: What's her name?
Alex: Who?
Kelli Ann: The girl... Alex.
Alex: There's no girl.
Kelli Ann: You can't hide it, man. I know strung out, and YOU are strung out.
Alex: Please...
Kelli Ann: This is amazing. You can't focus. Right? Jumping every time your phone rings? Checking your e-mail a hundred times a day? Wishing you could write songs?!
Alex: [laughs]
Kelli Ann: No...feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations! It's always the same and it has happened to you, my friend.
Alex: Shit...
Kelli Ann: Welcome to my world, asshole. Let me get the door.
Funny thing...2 very close friends of mine have had this conversation in the past month, and I had it with multiple friends of mine just recently. Not many people take this into consideration, and I will undoubtedly be disagreed with on some level, but I completely stand my ground on this matter and truly believe it to be truth.
In theory, as expressed in the movie "He's Just Not That Into You", women can be overly analytical and at times, crazy. It also depicts men to be (somewhat) materialistic, sure, and always thorough, with a conclusion to the movie saying that love itself can change anyone and can make you do things that you never thought you'd do or aren't used to doing. Being a writer and a critic, I am saying this in a roundabout and general way, this is not a blog to analyze the movie, Kwapis, or any of the writers personally, but a blog to express a personal opinion, which I will get to now:
In my opinion, in my experiences, conversations, understanding, and input of others...I have concluded that, in the umbrella of "love" and all that it possesses...MEN, or a MAN will take a heartbreak MUCH harder than a woman. Now women, before you lose your pants (not in the literal fashion), please let me express that I am NOT saying that you do not feel heartache or get hurt. Women definitely DO get hurt and heartbroken, I am simply saying that a man will take it 10x harder than a woman, in most cases. There are exceptions, this is simply a rule (of opinion).
Lets analyze this. Women (naturally) are more emotional than men, and more in-touch with their emotions. This allows an easy flow of love, care, and well-being of others. Remember how your mom made you feel when you skinned up your knees? It is easy for women to be freely loving and compassionate, where it may be difficult for most men. Men are built upon a complex of testosterone, where they are more aggressive, sexual, and visualizing. Disregarding all exceptions, this is a general rule.
BUT...and really think about this...THANK YOU PERCY SLEDGE
When a man LOVES a woman, he can't keep his mind on anything else. He'll trade the world for the good thing he's found. If she's bad he can't see it, and she can do no wrong. He'll turn his back on his best friend if he put her down. When a man loves a woman, he'll spend his very last dime tryin' to hold on to what he needs. He'd give up all his comfort and sleep out in the rain if she said that's the way it ought to be. When a man loves a woman down deep in his soul, she can bring him such misery. If she plays him for a fool, he's the last one to know. Lovin' eyes can't ever see. - Percy Sledge.
Now, to quickly quote the movie...in a LITERAL WAY. LADIES...THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT HAPPENS...WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT...
We literally can NOT focus. We get confused and do/say stupid shit, constantly. Every time our phone rings/vibrates, we CHECK it. We go out of our way to check it, in fact, we check it almost constantly. About every 10 minutes we make sure that we haven't missed your call, text, email, etc. We get nervous and anxious. We ACTUALLY DO try and write songs...but we musicians actually succeed ;) And yes...we most DEFINITELY try to bring up your name in random conversations. We find out what your perfume is...and we will go a little out of our way so we can hit up Sears, and smell it quickly, then leave. Ben Deignan once said, "My heart, it bursts when I just speak your name". That is exactly correct. We will do things to intentionally think about you, even though we can't stop thinking about you in the first place. FOR EXAMPLE...we will look up songs with your name in them, and listen to them over and over, in context or not. We will start to see your name in random places, like billboards, freeway signs, and books, even if they aren't even there. If we hear your name on a TV show as a character or something, we will slightly smile and they will become our new favorite one on the show. We become very, very analytical. We can't help but be overly analytical...and it sometimes can KILL us. We dissect little things, phrases, gestures, texts, etc. We become COMPETITIVE, and in someways, jealous. And contrary to what you have may heard from other men, hell yes...we do play with your head. We know how to get your attention, make you want things, and desire. We usually can not take hints...but that strongly depends on your hint skill. Some girls just suck...but really. We really DO like sappy love songs. We pretend our pillow is you at night time, and we snuggle with it and kiss it. And yes...our minds run absolutely wild.
Now, I COULD ramble on about these little things for hours, but let's get to the meat. When men LOVE...they really do LOVE. A man becomes deeply in touch with his emotions when he feels a BURNING DESIRE to do so. When a man see's something that he wants...he goes for it...and when he gets it, he is ultimately victorious. If a man gains something worth more than GOLD and DIAMONDS (the love of a woman, whom he really loves) and then LOSES it...he will be absolutely crushed. He will make a FOOL of himself trying to get her back, or he will retreat and run from the situation, insecure and depressed. Often, it is a mixture of both. Women (in a roundabout way) are used to their emotional side and interacting with it, thus being more equipped to deal with the loss, since it happens more. When a man is emotionally scarred, it is like walking into a battle zone naked (in the literal English, and Latin) Ever wonder why every cowboy country singer is singing about beer, rodeo's, horses, drinking, and LOSING WOMEN. Why every pop/rock star sings about sex, drugs, rock, and running away with their girl, and never coming back. Why every rap/hip hip star sings about bitches, hoes, money, sex, cars, and THEIR BOO. I am just keeping it real ladies...when men fall...they fall hard. When is the last time that you saw a girl hung up on a guy for 6 months - a year? (No, Twilight does not count. Edward Cullen is fictional, and will never love you). NOW, when is the last time that you saw a guy hung up on a girl for 6 months - year? I understand that all answers may vary, but in a GENERAL & ROUNDABOUT analysis...the majority is not many woman hold on for that long...and if the love is genuine, a man will.
In conclusion...ladies...watch what you say. You may not know it, but men who love DO listen. We listen almost too much. We hear everything you say (unless your talking DURING the game, while we're working, or if you completely do not have our attention at the moment), besides this, we LISTEN CLOSELY TO YOU. We hear your feelings and want what is best, but being a man is about making decisions that sometimes you MAY not like, but are for the better. This is not ALWAYS correct girls...you gotta keep us in check too! That's why we need you...women are perceptive, understanding, and loving. We need ALL of those qualities from you in order to TRULY make good decisions. There are some BAD break up lines too ladies...you should know them. What men DO NOT WANT TO HEAR: "I think we should be friends". That one sucks...I've heard it. "I just can't do this anymore". How original is that? I've heard that too. How about you just write my damn life into a screenplay? better yet, I'll do it for you, thanks. "It's not you, it's me". Although this may be true...you can be a little LESS VAUGE. You can explain it to us, unless you really don't have ANY intention of being with us. Just TELL us that it is over so we're not waiting. What some women don't realize...MEN WILL WAIT. We really do...sometimes years. You need to be specific with us. Do you have ulterior motives? Is there someone else? Are you just bored? Let us know.
ALTHOUGH...definitely stand your ground ladies. Once you tell us this, we will go nuts and say LOTS of things to you. They will contradict themselves. This is due to the fact that we are broken, and we aren't used to this feeling. We aren't as in-touch emotionally as you are, so we do not know how to handle heartache...so we go nuts. Every guy is different, but nuts all the same. But STAND YOUR GROUND. If you are finished, be FINISHED and give us CLOSURE...or we will FIND closure to satisfy ourselves. Don't play with our hearts...because that will not only hurt us worse, but also make us resentful and bitter. Got to keep it real ladies.
This is NOT AT ALL discrediting women and their emotions...their are PLENTY of douche bag guys out there...I know too many of them, and I am sorry. But ladies, take this as an encouragement...their ARE nice guys out there who will love you truly and unconditionally. Do not think all men are selfish, horny pricks. It is not true. But just understand that men really ARE fragile on the inside, and yes...you do drive us insane. This has been a public service article from Nick Kline to you :)
Regardless of my beliefs, I'd love to hear from you & yours! Send feedback to nkline7624@verizon.net. That goes for ALL of my blogs, I'd love to hear from you. Thank you.
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